i haven’t been feeling the burst of energy that it seems like other people on my ig feed have for the new year. i don’t think it’s an age thing. it feels more like a hangover from the past decade of pumped-up years, of beginning things with a bang, of feeling like i’m going to make this year “my year.” you can have it. instead, i’m at the intersection of burnout and cynicism. don’t get me wrong – i’ve found life so far so rewarding, and i’m forever grateful for the friendships i’ve made through them. but i can no longer play this game where the worth of a year is centered on career goals, internet output, and outward appearance. i feel like i spent all of 2019 just trying to get off a rollercoaster whose tracks were laid by my sky-high aspirations, and now that it’s coming to a slowdown i’m definitely not trying to get back on anytime soon. for 2020 i’m setting the intention of managing my stress, clearing my mind of concerns that need not be mine, and of minimizing vapid informational inputs. i’m getting to a point where all of the things i involve myself improve my health, relationships, and feeling of groundedness. i’m feeling completely allergic to welcoming things into my life meant to stack onto my CV, increase my social media presence, or chase dollars. the other day i watched a few episodes of kevin hart’s don’t f* this up – it’s the kind of show that in my past would have been a source of motivation, of feeding off someone else’s drive and seeing how big their dreams are as a measurement of my own potential. i felt nothing. when it comes down to it, i’m just in need of a recharge. offering 2020 to myself as my year of low power mode means that i only focus on the vital things. nothing extra happening it the background, no extra effort toward what won’t ultimately matter. that’s something i can get excited about.