I’m spending the month of December to recall those who entered my life this year in profound and inspiring ways. One person a day. One would think, with all the posting we do, functions we go to, business cards we hand out and “friends” we add on Facebook that this would be an easy task. I consider myself lucky for getting to do my work in such an open space, where in some circumstances people are even excited to meet me, and also where I have access to minds and souls more brilliant than I had ever fathomed. But last night, jotting down names in my notebook, I came to a stop at around 15. This includes artists I’ve collaborated and curated with, people I’ve met in my travels, and those who entered my world in the way that they do as life unfolds. I thought there would be so many more, yet at the same time I’m surprised there aren’t less. It’s not like I’ve actively implemented a “no more friends” policy in my life the way that some people do when they feel overwhelmed by their social circle. At the same time, it’s not like I was actively searching. I’ve definitely met more than 15 people this year, way more. My list – personal and without particular standards for qualification – is simply comprised of those who “struck a chord” with me, whatever the hell that means. Sometimes it’s a single day well-spent, or a piece of information exchanged that unlocked a connection, or a moment of inspiration that now plays a vital role in my everyday life. And then there are the countless people I’ve long known but finally connected deeply with, and those I met recently and know I want to cultivate something deeper with.
I don’t consider myself incredibly extroverted, and over the years my guard has come up (especially here in D.C.). But within the intro/extro binary, I know that I’m the latter – I gain my energy around people (albeit certain kinds of people), I wilt when I go long without human contact, and most of my most cherished memories involve at least one other person. But I’m also far from being the social butterfly. I’m terrible at small-talk, mentally wince at memories of my awkward encounters, and like to generally leave social gatherings late. If the typical extrovert is equated with the “Type A” personality, I’d consider myself Type-Z – my social interactions are calculated and intentional, I hang in the back until I feel fully able to be my full self to another. As we close this year and enter the next, I’m doing this exercise to appreciate my new friends as more than just a collection to add to my social network. I’m hoping to value them the way that I long to be valued, perhaps the way we all long to be, as the world gets smaller, more connected, and more urgent.